For relationship advice and more, talk to your super-smart Sis.
Q: I do not like displaying affection in public, but my boyfriend does. How can I make him understand? Farah
A: Public Display of Affection (PDA) is not for everyone. Many often assume that because people are in an exciting loving relationship, they are going to be all over each other and flaunt their love all the time with pride. Well, that may be the case for some people, but this is not the case for everyone – and it should not be taken personally. Not liking to display affection in public has nothing to do with being embarrassed of your relationship or your boyfriend nor does it mean that he loves you more than you love him or her. This is a personal matter, in which you simply are a private person when it comes to
physical expressions of love and desire. You may also feel overwhelmed, anxious and claustrophobic to have your hand held or to be hugged and held constantly outside.
Explain this to your boyfriend so he understands that this is not about you not wanting to express your joy of being with him, but about you personally. Talk it out and find a compromise that you both can be okay with.
A: Public Display of Affection (PDA) is not for everyone. Many often assume that because people are in an exciting loving relationship, they are going to be all over each other and flaunt their love all the time with pride. Well, that may be the case for some people, but this is not the case for everyone – and it should not be taken personally. Not liking to display affection in public has nothing to do with being embarrassed of your relationship or your boyfriend nor does it mean that he loves you more than you love him or her. This is a personal matter, in which you simply are a private person when it comes to
physical expressions of love and desire. You may also feel overwhelmed, anxious and claustrophobic to have your hand held or to be hugged and held constantly outside.Explain this to your boyfriend so he understands that this is not about you not wanting to express your joy of being with him, but about you personally. Talk it out and find a compromise that you both can be okay with.
Q: If you have been seeing someone for a long time and they still are not ready for a full on relationship, is it okay to wait or is it hopeless? Anonymous
A: This is a good question that many people already have the answer to, but insist on making excuses for their partner. The truth is, if your lover really enjoys being with you that much and feels you truly are a catch, then he or she will not want to gamble all that by refusing to enter a full on serious relationship with you. After all, what is he or she waiting for? If he or she wants to be with you, then you will be together and no one will hesitate at the thought of being in a relationship with you – they will not want to risk losing you.
If your lover shows signs of having commitment and intimacy issues that you believe goes deeper, then perhaps he or she should seek help for that, so that he/she can enjoy being in a healthy committed relationship with you. If your partner wants to be with you and make healthy changes, then he/she will do what it takes and will not make excuses.
A: This is a good question that many people already have the answer to, but insist on making excuses for their partner. The truth is, if your lover really enjoys being with you that much and feels you truly are a catch, then he or she will not want to gamble all that by refusing to enter a full on serious relationship with you. After all, what is he or she waiting for? If he or she wants to be with you, then you will be together and no one will hesitate at the thought of being in a relationship with you – they will not want to risk losing you.
If your lover shows signs of having commitment and intimacy issues that you believe goes deeper, then perhaps he or she should seek help for that, so that he/she can enjoy being in a healthy committed relationship with you. If your partner wants to be with you and make healthy changes, then he/she will do what it takes and will not make excuses.
Q: My husband recently cheated on me, I am extremely depressed and I don’t know what to do. Is it true that once a person cheats, that person is always a cheater and cannot be trusted again? Mrs. Ahmer
A: The experience of being cheated on is very painful and upsetting. However, if your partner cheats on you, it does not necessarily mean that he or she will always cheat on you from that point on. You should know your partner well enough, so his or her behavior after getting caught cheating will give you strong clues as to whether he/she will most likely cheat again. Pay attention to the effort being made on his or her part to make it up to you. If you still want to be in the relationship after being cheated on, the best thing to do is give yourself time to heal and get over it. You also need to give your partner time to prove to you that he or she can be trusted again, which will take a while since trust takes time to earn and even more time to re-earn. So no, once a cheater does not necessarily mean that a person will always be a cheater. People make mistakes sometimes and regret it and never do it again. Just keep an eye on it and listen to your instincts.
A: The experience of being cheated on is very painful and upsetting. However, if your partner cheats on you, it does not necessarily mean that he or she will always cheat on you from that point on. You should know your partner well enough, so his or her behavior after getting caught cheating will give you strong clues as to whether he/she will most likely cheat again. Pay attention to the effort being made on his or her part to make it up to you. If you still want to be in the relationship after being cheated on, the best thing to do is give yourself time to heal and get over it. You also need to give your partner time to prove to you that he or she can be trusted again, which will take a while since trust takes time to earn and even more time to re-earn. So no, once a cheater does not necessarily mean that a person will always be a cheater. People make mistakes sometimes and regret it and never do it again. Just keep an eye on it and listen to your instincts.
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